Reading for writing.

Starting a blog.
What does that mean to me? To you? To anyone else who will read my articles?

To be honest I don’t know.

Before you write, you read. A friend of mine told me this. I wrote so many articles but I was never satisfied. I wasn’t convinced that the words I used expressed exactly what I meant, what I felt.

That is language: you can never say exactly what you feel. For someone to understand and feel exactly what you mean, this person needs to be able to read your mind. Yes, like a telepath. But we all know that is impossible.

So what I am supposed to do then? Give up? Just drop it?

That is probably the easy thing to do. But no I won’t.

I don’t read that much anymore. You will probably ask me why, and I will surely respond that I am busy and don’t have any free time.

If you were present with me, you will probably comment on my painted nails. You would tell me that I don’t have time to read but I do apparently have time to paint my nails because I make sure that they are always well polished. And you will look at my hair and ask, “Those long braids takes me how much time to be made?” I will tell you 5 hours.

And if you really know me you will continue by asking me what TV show I am watching recently, and I will tell you “Reign” which has 3 seasons and that I am downloading by myself all day and night long. This TV show talks about Europe history in the year 1556, when there was a war between England, Scotland and France. It shows the strength of a brave young queen of Scotland. It has a message, but it is lazy learning in my opinion. I will add that I am also watching American Idol because I like music and singing is my frustrated dream. Which means a dream I had when I was young and that I don’t think I will have the opportunity to do now.

And you can also ask me what do you do on weekends? I will respond that most of the time I go out with friends, I get drunk and dance.

And you will certainly shake your head and conclude, “You have time to paint your nails, to get your hair done, to download and watch movies and shows, to go out, get drunk and go dancing and you really think you don’t have a time to read?”

I didn’t understand, I used to read                             

I remember when I was in middle school and high school I read all the time. I read walking on a road, I read when I ate and until I fell asleep. Yep that is how it was. And I had so much pleasure doing it. But I got surprised when my friend asked me about the end of a book I had read in high school “La peste” by Albert Camus. I found myself frustrated when I had no idea about the end of a book I read. I couldn’t say if the hero in the book found his wife at the end. And it became worse when he asked me if I loved it when I read it. I had now idea. And then I respond that I read it because I was obligated, it was a study theme for school. I had so much pleasure while reading, what happened since? When I asked this question to a friend he told me, “you grew up, you integrated into an adult world, you got a job and now you are condemn to it.” Isn’t it sad that a whole life can be described as becoming an adult and condemning things you used to enjoy? Society rules us and we become slaves. We’re just following the wave without having the lives we really want. We are the society instead of being us. We should seriously think of being more ourselves rather than being the society.

What does going to school do for the society?

A question comes into my mind. What it a purpose of going to school? What does studies mean? Does it mean reading what you need to read, having a great grade and getting a good job which will lead you to money, power, prestige and happiness? I doubt it.

I found myself dreaming that I wanted to stay a child to avoid all of this but unfortunately that is impossible.

But what is possible is that, I can decide to read when I am not obligated to, I can decide to go to school and learn and got good grades. Besides that I can choose to live freely by developing myself personally.

Some people have money as heritage; some have houses, fields, towns, and countries. I have nothing like that.

I want my legacy to be a word, to be a book, to be knowledge on diversity, on justice, on human rights, on all creature’s right, a healthy nature, a healthy education and a respect of people choices. I want my generation to read, to think, to speech out for their right, thoughts and initiations, to observe around, be aware of the chaos and make good choices for future generations.