When our own words can crush the society!


When our own words can crush the society!

Seriously we should make sure that what we do, what we say and every time we act inevitably impacts someone somehow.

Something recently touched me very badly. Even if it was happening for centuries, the concept of using women simply for pleasure offends me. Since we are changing everything in this world—science technology—shouldn’t we also think of changing the way we talk, the way we sing, the way we play and have fun? It is after all, how we define our education, beliefs and behavior.

If you live in Africa (and probably all over the world since internet exists) and you like dancing, you have probably heard about this song “Coller la Petite” from the Cameroun singer Franko which sadly means “stick a girl to yourself”. This is a title of a song that every young girl, boy and adult listen walking on any road and going in any place to have a drink or in any night club to dance. It is a famous song that basically says the only way a man can have fun is to find a girl and use her as he wants because he only has one life. The first thing I thought when I listened to it was, “ewww”. Surely, no one would listen if the words were, “Respect la femme et ne crois pas qu’elle soit un jouet” (“respect women and never think she is a toy”) no one will dance to it. Well, I would :). And my second concern was those kids who love to listen it. Will they be thoughtful enough to not believe and love those words?  I don’t think so :(.

I know this singer is not the only one, but I got scared because it became so famous and everyone is singing it all day long, you would think they can’t understand words but they do. And that is why I choose to mention it.

The famous Nigerian author Chimamanda N’GOZI ADICHIE said in her TED Talk “We all should be feminist”, “When we do the same thing every time, it becomes normal.” So how can we pretend to educate our kids in respecting other humans while letting them listen to something with a different message? Aren’t we scared that it will become the “normal” for them to joke saying women are toys?

 The words you speak can educate, but they can also deprave.

Every word you say even if you don’t mean it is understood and considered by people around you. You could lie about what your life is and they will believe you. It is as simple as that.So be careful. A word you say defines what kind of person you are and what kind of behavior you live.

If I still focus on singers, we all listen to songs using words we decently refuse to say or hear but somehow we find ourselves dancing to it driving in a car or on the dance floor after couple of beers. Oh I do it myself, because of the rhythm. But I make sure I still understand how those words devalue women, how they deprave people and I still am conscious that I don’t believe in those words. If I had to debate about a song like that the day after I danced to it, I would stand in the “Against Team”. Sorry for that. I should be stronger to resist the pleasure of dancing to those songs whose words I do not appreciate.

But we also prefer on calm days to listen to those songs that we know all the lyrics and that describe an experience we had. Because we lost someone we loved, because someone broke our heart, because we are having a magical moment. That is when we usually cry because the words touch us so deeply. That emotion shows how we appreciate and believe in those words.

I don’t cry when I listen to song saying “p***y”, “coller la petite”, “bitches”, “big ass”, “big boobs”, “f**k that bitch”. Do you?Eventually I can listen to Taylor Swift love songs blaming some “f***ing dick” and smile because I think she is right.

It is all mixed up and I get it. So I don’t blame the singer only. No it is a general fault. We all are concerned: the singer, the DJ, the dancer.

I don’t make rules so I don’t know what is the best thing for us to do. The ideal will be to stop buying and downloading this music. The ideal is that YouTube, etc. stop posting this kind of music for customers and curious people like me. But what a huge deal! I won’t even know where to go first or who to talk to make that happen. All I know is we should not lose the conscience that the message of the song you are listing to could impact your daily life and that you need to still be aware of it is benefits or disadvantages for you.

 So I was thinking, what should we do to fight stuff like this? Should we turn off our radios when it plays? Or should we simply let it play and then discuss about it with our kids at home and friends at the bar?

The second solution seems to be the worthy one for me. Because this is how people can see the difference between what is good and what is bad. You show them the reality and you discuss it by letting them find out the bad in it.

Well let’s not let our words, our thoughts, our messages, our behaviors, our songs and our media posts be what will cause our end. Let’s let it be what inspires people, what educates them, what shows them how to make the earth a safe and respectful place.


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Some of my favorite singers (In this case) who you can listen too « Lauryn Hill, Bob Marley, Tiken Jah Facoly, Soprano…» those always cross a rather useful message which will make you question everything and set good resolution. Well I am just saying :).


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